The Book

The book, the book, the book!

The reason I started writing, so here’s what happened.

My husband thought I was a great writer. He came to this conclusion because of a clever email message or two that I wrote. He suggested I tell our story.

“Better than any love story that’s a work of fiction,” he would say.

I thought he was nuts.

He even started the story it in one of his Moleskine notebooks, then handed it to me and said, “OK, now finish it.”

I tried to laugh it off, but it made me nervous. I didn’t want to disappoint him even if he was delusional.

But, come on now, I couldn’t write a book.

It was a good story–a “love at first sight” kind of thing that started in an airport bar in Pittsburgh (how romantic). We had a wild life in the five years we were together, living in Rostov-on-Don, Russia for almost two years and we also lived in Toronto.  We always had fun and laughed constantly. I think finding that sort of love later in life made us giddy.

But still, every time he mentioned writing our story I balked. What the hell was he thinking?

Then he got sick.

Then he died.

I wanted to die, too.

I did all kinds of odd things when grieving—one in particular that lots of widows do. I talked to a psychic and she did a reading over the phone—weird, right? Except, she told me all sorts of stuff that only we would’ve known. Deeply personal things—inside jokes. I asked a ton of questions and was glad our session was being recorded. After an hour it was time to end and she said that my husband had a final question for me. Here’s what she said:

“Your husband asks, ‘are you going to write the book?’”

Yep, that’s what she said!

You bet your ass I wrote that book.

It took me two years. It is through that process that I discovered a passion for writing that I never knew I had. I moved to New York City—immersing myself in the literary world wanting to become a better writer, hoping I might make something happen. I thought I’d stay for a year, two at most, but I’m still here and it’s been over three years.

The memoir is yet unpublished, but I’m going to change that in 2013.