When I appeared on The Steve Harvey Show something that stuck in my craw was a statement Steve made. “I think the blog is hurting your chances of meeting a man.” Then he followed with “You should quit the blog.” That last suggestion ended up on the cutting room floor so those watching the show didn’t hear it. Oh, but I did.
I wasn’t elated.
Now, I knew that most men I dated weren’t thrilled with the prospect of becoming blog fodder. What kind of idiot would enjoy that? But the blog had brought such joy to my life. I loved the comments from readers. Especially when my tales resonated with women. It was the reason I’d started the thing in the first place since I was looking for, and couldn’t find, a narrative that confirmed what one needs when dealing with a touch situation:
“You are not alone.”
I was over the moon when I received comments from men who read the blog and used it as a What Not To Do manifesto. When Steve told me to quit before the year was up I was annoyed. Didn’t he understand I had a loyal following?
I’d made a commitment, damnit!
“Are you making any money from the blog?” Mr. Harvey asked when he saw the look on my face. He was probably thinking: This bitch is crazy.
“No, and my year is almost up. I have two months left.”
He suggested that since I was an attractive, positive woman I should blog about that. Put those dating tales of woe behind me. Yeah, it was sage advice and it wasn’t happening.
BUT it did get me thinking.
There had to be a way to use the blog as a springboard to other things that might help me earn a living. The obvious choice was a book. I’m working on that now, but I came up with a second idea just after DatingAdvice.com named me one of the “Ten Best Online Dating Experts.”
Sheesh, that was unexpected and quite an honor.
I decided to create an online dating workshop/boot camp for men (click on the tab if you’re interested). A three hour class where twenty men are taken through the online dating process–beginning to end. A friend of mine gave it a subtitle: Making the World a Better Place for Women: Twenty Clueless Men at a Time. She wasn’t being mean. What I’d give to take a class on what men were really thinking. I’d love to better understand the common, yet quirky aspects of the average guy.
In a couple of weeks I’ll hold my first workshop. I’m very comfortable in front of an audience. I was a corporate trainer for the bulk of my career. Give me snappy presentation and a room full of bodies and I’ll do my thing. It’s never boring. I’ve found that any subject is better with humor. In my former career you should’ve seen what I did with Harassment and Discrimination Awareness–brought the house down with that one.
My latest Huffpost piece is all about the upcoming boot camp. If you’re a follower who’s transitioned from www.1yearofonlinedatingat50.com to here and you are feeling charitable, I’d appreciate a comment on The Huffington Post site. If you could direct your comment to the men who might be reading the article and considering the workshop, I’d be grateful. Let them know why you think they should attend.
CLICK HERE to be directed to the article on The Huffington Post.
I’ll keep you updated on the workshop. I know there will be some fascinating stories that come from the experience.
“Change is the end result of all true learning.” Leo Buscaglia
Hi — just wanted to let you know that I didn’t see a link or tab for clicking on to see the class; maybe it’s just my computer, but I thought I’d tell you. And, I commented over at Huffington post – sheesh, quite a number bunch of humorless people writing in. Don’t take it to heart! Also, I didn’t realize you went on 100 dates in one year. That is way, way more than me.
Humorless to say the least, RJ. Yes, over 100 dates in a year. With MN alone I went on about 8. I didn’t date 100 men, just 100+ dates. Thanks for the pep talk. I won’t take it to heart and will instead just pity them for their bitterness. That and get voodoo dolls for all the assholes and poke the hell out of them :).
laura l. says
I agree with r.j.. Don’t take it to heart. Those people don’t know you like we know you. But one day they will when your bestsellers come out. And there are plenty of savvy comments too. Its all a good read.
I think when there’s a visceral reaction it can only be because some bit of what I wrote resonates with the reader, Laura. That, or they’re just a bunch of pricks. Thanks so much for your encouragement!
I think your bootcamp is a great idea and is DEFINITELY needed. I have just finished a round of online dating and am beginning to think that available men in my age range ? (45 plus) have either been living under a rock or there are women out there that have allowed them to get away with being immature and lazy daters or maybe there are women so desperate to date that the only requirement is a pulse and shallow breathing. I would like to put my order in right now for a freshly “bootcamp” enlightened man LOL. Good luck with the first bootcamp class and I am looking forward to the book when it happens.
Lisa, thank you so much! “A pulse and shallow breathing” had me laughing. I’m doing my best to enlighten the good guys. I really believe they don’t want to be assholes, they’re just clueless about their behavior. I’ll keep my eyes peeled for a good one for you! Thanks for your comment.