I grew up in Las Vegas and there are certain things one might associate with a desert. Lizards, cacti, tumbleweeds and hot, oh so hot weather, but an ice skating rink? Not a chance. But just like so many contradictory things about my hometown there it was, The International Ice Palace, juxtaposed in a shopping center with a parking lot of black pavement so scorching that on most days could burn the soles off your feet. I was in sixth grade and on Friday afternoons we rode the bus from our school to the indoor rink for a few hours of zipping around in circles with rented white skates.
I was pretty good.
I was also eleven years old.
Have you ever had a skill you acquired in your youth that kicks your ass in adulthood?
Humbling, right?
How about having that humiliation on national television? That was my biggest fear when the producers of The Steve Harvey Show told me that one of my arranged dates with Rick would include ice-skating. I’m, um, a bit of a klutz. In a post I wrote on www.1yearofonlinedatingat50.com I describe a date where I fell flat on my ass.
In a fancy restaurant.
Packed with the lunchtime crowd.
On a first date.
Here’s what my friends say:
“You glide into a room—head high, shoulders back like you own the place then you eat shit better than anyone.”
Have I mentioned that I have the most charming group of friends?
Alright, enough bellyaching–on to the dates.
I waited on the bench outside of the skating rink for Rick. I had a smile on my face but inside I was a wreck. What if I didn’t feel any attraction towards this man? I’d already had that sort of experience with my last date on the show and was worried that it would begin to look like a pattern. “Is this a pattern?” I asked myself while waiting.
When I saw Rick approaching I turned towards the producer and saw her smiling.
Halle-flippin-lujah!
He was good looking,–I was definitely attracted to him physically, and after a few minutes of speaking he seemed like a nice man. We laced our skates, hit the ice and Rick confirmed my initial impression. He was a true gentleman. He extended his arm as soon as he saw my apprehension. I was grateful.
Shit, that ice was slippery.
I can hear you say DUH from here, by the way.
I’d also forgotten just how much ankle strength it requires. Not wanting to be a big whiner, I skated through the pain, but let me tell you if my fifty-one year old ankles could talk they would’ve said,
“Bitch, please. Sit your ass down and drink some hot chocolate and add a shot of whiskey.”
Here’s what I knew by the end of the first date:
1. I was physically attracted to Rick.
2. I liked him as a person.
3. He was a gentleman.
4. I needed to elevate my throbbing ankles and get my hands on some pain meds, pronto.
I believe the second date (salsa dancing) gave me more anxiety than the first and here’s why. I’m not a horrible dancer but no one’s mistaking me for J-Lo either. Sad but true–I’m no Fly Girl. Just think about it the next time you hit the dance floor at a party. Would you want millions of strangers watching you shake your groove thing? Then there was the awkwardness of being so physically close to a man I didn’t know well, but salsa it was.
Rick was a much better dancer than I. I’m not sure if you’ll see that in the video, but he rocked. After a few minutes with our patient (and ridiculously young and beautiful) dance instructor, I forgot the cameras were rolling and began to relax and enjoy the lesson.
PLUS, I had on great shoes. If one’s going to look like a fool it’s best to do it fashionably.
Chie Mihara-several years old. LOVE these!
After an hour of those hip moves I’d forgotten my ankles and focused on the icepack I’d be putting on my midsection once I returned to the hotel. I’m reminded of my grandmother—damn you, aging process!
Rick and I didn’t have much time to talk and I looked forward to our third date, which I was glad to know didn’t include zip lining or bungee jumping.
Dinner, just dinner.
Rick looked amazing as he walked towards the table in his suit. It was a perfect fit and I loved the European cut. I was very relaxed and during dinner I got to know him much better. He talked about his adult children and the significance of being a good father. He also talked briefly about his divorce and asked me about mine and that’s when I shared that I was a widow. I know that’s not the sort of information that’s expected and I usually share it on the first date. I think perhaps that’s too soon and I was glad I waited this time. Mr. Harvey gave me that advice the last time I was on the show and he was right.
The food and wine were absolutely amazing at Acadia.
No sign so you really have to know what you’re looking for.
I HIGHLY recommend this glorious restaurant if you’re in Chicago. Here are some photos that Rick asked me to take of the food.
Mussel-compliments of the chef. One bite of amazing.
Rick and I shared this first course of beet salad. Yum!
We also shared their version of risotto. Excellent.
Rick had the beef. I had a bite and it was sublime.
I had the lobster. The best I’ve ever tasted.
As you can see, they are each a work of art and my compliments to the fabulous chef, our server, Carlos, and the warm and welcoming hostess—what a perfect dining experience from start to finish.
After dinner we shared a cab and Rick walked me into my hotel. He really is such a gentleman. We had a nightcap at the hotel bar, and it was nice to talk without cameras. We were going to try to get together the following evening but Rick had been coughing during dinner and it got worse during our drink. By the following day he was quite ill and we had to postpone our date (sans cameras) but we had a lengthy phone conversation.
The next time we saw each other was during the taping of the show. I thought Rick looked quite dashing in his suit and there wasn’t any awkwardness between us. He suggested we go on a fourth date—a cooking class. We both are foodies.
We’ve exchanged several text messages and talked in the last two weeks. Rick lives in the Chicago area and I’m in New York. Everyone knows that a long distance relationship is difficult, but simply dating long distance seems even tougher. Who knows? Perhaps I’ll visit Chicago or Rick will have a reason to be in NYC. If either happens I have no doubt that we’ll meet up again. It will probably be that cooking class he suggested. After three dates I don’t know everything about him but what I do know is he’s a man of his word.
Handsome, smart and guy who does what he says. I think it’s safe to say that Rick is quite a catch.
I’m the first to laugh at my clumsiness. Check out these outtakes from the show by clicking here.
Click here for our message to Steve.
“I’m the most uncoordinated clumsy, klutzy person. I always had a bruise, I always tripped and fell.” Katherine Heigl
He was amazing! I kept looking for nasal and ear hair 😉 I would like to point out, since I am the nose and ear hair remover on my husband, it is a challenging adventure. I’m not sure how a single guy can do a good job at our age. Not only is it tough to get rid of them, it’s hard to see them in the first place. (I never could understand a woman with a long chin hair until I turned 40. They can’t SEE them!) I will say, I was most attracted to the fact that he will take dance lessons. My husband has taken them with me several times…and during the times when I want to dump him I always think, “It’s hard to find a man who likes to dance.” Now, he suggests cooking classes? That’s way over the top! I loved how you owned up to Steve’s criticism’s instead of becoming defensive. I found that endearing. That you weren’t flirty. Hmmm…I wonder how any of us would really act with a camara in our face. Melanie, long distance romances do work. You encouraged mine, and we didn’t have cell service or Skype in those days–just $100.00 phone bills. They aren’t easy, but sometimes they are worth it. Distance means so little, when someone means so much. Loved the show!
Thank you, Louise! Rick was amazing and the WHOLE package. I’m not sure what comes next but I am absolutely open to taking that cooking class with him. It was so much fun and Rick was the reason. I didn’t see a single nose hair. What an experience!
I’ll be watching the show in a few hours. Thanks for the preview. Is that his real name?
Yes, that’s his real name!
Hi Melani!
I actually just finished reading your entire dating blog last night and was so pleased to see you back on Steve Harvey today! What a great show and experience!
I think Rick is a great match for you – but I am a little disappointed that they couldn’t find you someone in New York with their resources. However, if you two want to make it work, you will!
I am 42 and have been on my share of dating sites – I had two back to back three month relationships as a result of the sites that both hurt me significantly – BUT I went back online with optimism only to find that the past few months have taken a big blow to my overall disposition.
I am now off all dating sites, and will focus on my writing, getting in shape and finding a good full time job (been out of work a while). I think once I at least have a career to focus on, the awful emails and awkward first meetings won’t sting so much.
Look, your readers need HOPE so tell Rick you ARE writing about your escapades! I look forward to your updates!
Ha! Thanks, MK, for your comment and especially for sharing your story. Thank you also for reading all of the blog! Online dating is so difficult and I can’t imagine having to do that again. I don’t want to share my private life too much anymore but I will make you a deal. I’ll dedicate this blog and the coordinating vlogs to the good, bad, and ugly of dating AND if I meet The One I will absolutely share all the details with readers. Seems fair, right? In the meantime if you have anything you would like to see me explore either through writing or video, please let me know. I’m completely open to suggestions and I promise to make you laugh. Thank you again for your comment and I’m happy you saw the show!
Melani, I am so loving living the dating life vicariously through you. I’m in a dry spell and you are way more entertaining than my few potential “matches”. Rick was awfully cute and kudos on making it through the skating and salsa dancing on national TV – I could never do it. Hope you two get some time without the cameras. Cheers!
Good to hear you’re dating vicariously, Laura. Maybe we can swap during one of my routine dry spells and you can share with me? Rick was quite cute and it was rough skating and dancing for the cameras. I just kept thinking, You screw up now and millions of strangers will be laughing at you!. No pressure or anything :).
As someone who is also widowed 5 years and in my 50’s, work out 5x/week and met my late hubby at the gym, and has tried online dting- not for me, speed dating – a better experience, I watched this follow-up hoping for good outcomes.Sitting on my sofa in NYC, I see Ric walking over to you and I said – He’s cute, I would date him. Much better chemistry and look than the first date. I too make quick assessments. Anyway, thanks for sharing. Hope the dating life continues to improve for you not to mention the rest of us middle aged ladies .
We have lots in common, Sharon. So sorry for your loss. I agree with your assessment. Rick was a much better match than the first show date. I was immediately attracted to him physically and he had brains and manners to match that handsome face. We had fun.
I guess some things do get better with time. You gave yourself and Rick the time to go on more than one date, and things are looking up. Oh yea, tell me when you guys were finished with Arts, and Crafts what did you guys have for dinner?
Haha, Noel, you thought those dinner plates were a bit too artistic, right? They were delicious AND beautiful.
Melani –
I found ran into your previous column on twitter and found it very entertaining and am now a subscriber to your current blog. I happened to be off work yesteday and quite by accident caught you on the Steve Harvey show. I’m also a widow (5 years) and have had many of the same dating experiences. I found my own behavior in your revelation about “looking for a reason to discount someone” and have promised to be more wiling to try a second and third date. I love reading about your adventures and find comfort in knowing I’m not alone as I try to start over in my 50’s. Good luck to you!
Thank you, Lynn! I am normally “one and done” as I said on the show. Rick really didn’t give me any reason to feel that way after ice skating, though, so it might not have been a valid test. The second date was quite awkward with being that close to him. Salsa is sexy and there are areas that touch–those hips don’t lie :). You are not alone, Lynn. There’s an army of women who’ve shared these common feelings and experiences. It’s the reason I started the first blog. Thanks again for taking the time to comment!
AH! I missed the airing of the episode. Can I find it anywhere? Thumbs up to Rick, BTW. And you looked gorgeous and were charming….naturally. xoxo
I’m not sure, Chloe, but I don’t think so. I’ve got it saved on my DVR so maybe we’ll have a glass of wine and watch it one of these days!
Sounds very fun (and you did all of my favorite things on your dates with this guy). I don’t have a TV so can’t watch the show (DARN!) I don’t suppose they’ll let you post your segment?
It was fun, RJ. I don’t think they’ll let me post the segment, but I’ll ask. Maybe they’ll put it on Youtube? I’ll check and let you know if I have any luck. Thanks!
Seeing a nice guy like that with you gives hope. I have a profile on a popular dating site but haven’t subscribed yet. am in the process of moving and maybe jumped the gun a bit. Having my heart broke badly 1 yr ago not sure if I can date again at this point. Is it worth the try anyway??? Wondering 🙂
Heck yeah, Dawn. It’s always worth a try for love. It’s not human nature to be alone.
It appears that Rick is a Blessed man, it appears that he has found an Angel. I hope the both of you continue to reach for your goals, and more than that, be supportive. After all, a person that you have feelings for should add positive things to your life, and help take away the negatives.
Well, Noel, it’s not that simple. Rick lives in Chicago and I’m in NYC so it was three great dates with a great guy. What happens in the future is anyone’s guess. If nothing else, I met a good man and had fun and there’s nothing wrong with that.
So…I saw the recap show today. Anymore Rick? I find myself routing for you even though it was 4 years ago.
I had no idea Ric and I would be in the recap show. Darn, I would’ve watched. No, we didn’t go on another date but we remained friends. His life is in Chicago and mine in NYC so it wasn’t meant to be. I had a great time with him, though. He’s wonderful and he’ll make some woman very happy–he may have already. Thanks for the comment, Andrea!