On Memorial Day I hosted a barbecue and invited eight guests. If movies and books are to be believed, New Yorkers have the most stimulating dinner conversations covering a wide range of topics such as: politics, literature, cool restaurants and art. I think that’s a fairly accurate portrayal. This city is filled to the brim with smart people and that took some adjusting when I first arrived.
I don’t want you to get the wrong impression. It’s not that I’m giving Einstein any competition but I do feel I’m fairly intelligent or at least did until landing in 10023.
Reality?
I’m barely a C student here.
BUT, I’ve found, no matter the zip code, the chat always, and I mean always comes around to relationships. Who’s in one, who’s still looking. Inevitably there will be someone who offers suggestions to the singletons at the table. Perhaps sharing a successful formula for finding a match.
That happened during my dinner party.
A recently engaged guest suggested (to the single ladies) that we make a commitment to meet at least once a week, preferably twice weekly, at different happy hour spots in the city. We should gather from 5:30 pm to 7:30 pm as a group in different neighborhoods to meet different kinds of guys. She said she’d join us and be our wingwoman, initiating conversations with the men we found interesting. “What do I have to lose?” she asked. Her fiancé said he’d occasionally come too.
I thought it was a brilliant strategy and one that would work perfectly with something NEW I’d stumbled upon, Cheek’d.
Here’s how Cheek’d works. You sign up and create a basic profile. You order a set of Cheek’d cards that you keep with you at all times. If you happen to see someone you are interested in you walk up, hand them a card and walk away. Simple, painless and no risk of rejection and the next move is theirs. The information on the card tells them where they can find you. They go to the cheekd.com and enter a code that takes them to your profile where they can send you a message.
How ingenious is that?
Now, instead of perusing profiles and ending up disappointed with the person once you’re face to face, you’ve already determined there’s an attraction. No more missed opportunities, either. How many times have you seen someone and wished for the courage to make contact? It happens to me often and once they’re gone the chances are almost zero that I’ll see then again. I even wrote a post about missed opportunities during my year of online dating.
The cards are clever. Here are some examples:
look up. you might miss something.
this is your lucky day.
you can thank me later.
shouldn’t you be asleep at this hour?
i’m a keeper.
this leads to someone you should meet.
don’t let me get away.
your move.
where have i been all your life?
this card is good for finding me again.
i’m totally cooler than your date.
i’m hitting on you.
So, I’m going to combine the weekly happy hour gatherings with the cards and see what happens. I’ll let you know how it goes. I’m also keeping them with me every single time I leave the apartment. You never know who you might see walking down the street or at the deli counter at Fairway Market, right?
UPDATE: Within fifteen minutes of this post going live, Lori Cheek of Cheek’d found me on Facebook and offered 50% off your card order. Use the promo code: SUMMERLOVIN. Thank you so much, Ms. Cheek!
Insanity Update: I should be almost finished with my 60-day challenge. Unfortunately, I fell a couple of weeks ago (totally sober and with an audience), and bruised my coccyx. I wrote a blog post called “Coccyx Blocked” but my “editor” told me it was quite boring so I scrapped it. The details aren’t important. Suffice to say that I took two weeks off to let my tailbone heal and started back on Insanity this week. UGH, it was too soon so I’m giving myself a little more time to recover and then I’ll get back to cursing Shaun T and that perky chick on the DVD who smiles through the torture. I’ll let you know the outcome and am still committed to wearing a bikini if the results are good.
“Opportunities are never lost; someone will take the one you miss.” Author Unknown
Jennifer clement says
June 5, 2013 at 8:21 amWhy didn’t I think of that, fabulous!
Melani says
June 5, 2013 at 12:31 pmI know, Jennifer!
Donna says
June 5, 2013 at 8:45 amumm.. seriously..I love that! Totally doing it.
Melani says
June 5, 2013 at 12:30 pmLet me know how it’s working, Donna. I loved it too!
Dana says
June 5, 2013 at 9:18 amHey Melani! That is unbelievably clever…why DIDN”T you think of that? I am signing up first chance I get…look out Tulsa!
Your friend-
Dana
Melani says
June 5, 2013 at 12:30 pmI know, Dana! Keep me posted on how it works for you and I’ll do the same.
Suzanne says
June 5, 2013 at 10:59 amBravo to you and your girlfriends for daring to date! Being proactive is key to finding love. Using the cheek’d cards is an easy, fun way to make a connection.
I invite you and your girls to add a little more motivation to your happy hour fun. Fantasydatinggame.com is a forum for a friendly competition in which women compete to earn points by dating. (Think Fantasy Football – but Fantasy Dating.) The game is free and it’s a fun way to empower yourself to take chances, build confidence and find love. It’s amazing how many cheek’d cards you might hand out when points are involved!
We’d love for you to create a happy hour league and get your game on! (Once you’re no longer coccyx blocked. OUCH!)
Melani says
June 5, 2013 at 12:29 pmI’ll certainly consider it, Suzanne. It sounds like fun.
SoulJoel says
June 5, 2013 at 11:04 amThis is great. I haven’t received any cards yet. But I will be on the look out. 🙂
Keep up the good work.
Melani says
June 5, 2013 at 12:28 pmI think there’s a cheek’d card in your future, Joel. You can also get some and be a giver you know.
SoulJoel says
June 5, 2013 at 12:48 pmI’m a girl, I like being chased. 🙂
Ok, I’ll get some cards….
Melani says
June 5, 2013 at 2:04 pmHaha, Joel.
Dee says
June 5, 2013 at 2:27 pmMel, sure wish I lived closer to a group of ladies who want to have fun and meet guys…Let me say this…no matter what age one is, the challenges are the same. I have been dating a man for 9 years (wouldn’t Steve love that one), it’s gone no where. Dating services are pathetic. When I have tried to talk with a man, within seconds he brings up the word “wife!!” Anyone else notice that??? Giving a card to a stranger sounds great….but there are so many unknowns with strangers…..I can’t wait to hear how things went with your friends and the cards!! Happy fun!
Melani says
June 5, 2013 at 2:50 pmYou’re right, Dee, many unknowns with strangers. One less, though, this way. At least I know the physical attraction is there. Nine years of dating the same guy? It must be working in some way for both of you. Maybe you’re onto something! Thanks for the comment.
Sherri says
June 5, 2013 at 4:43 pmMelani,
This is brilliant and totally something I’m willing to try. At the beginning of May I resigned from online dating at match.com and ourtime.com after six months of non-epic experiences. At least, as you say, we’re reaching out to men we find attractive rather than trying not to hurt the feelings of “not if you were the last man on earth” guys. Thanks for sharing and keep us updated!
Sherri
Melani says
June 5, 2013 at 6:32 pmI will keep everyone updated, Sherri. I’m glad you’re going to try it too. Keep ME posted!
Chloe says
June 6, 2013 at 7:10 amHi girlfriend,
You are always on the cutting edge. Great idea and thanks for sharing it with us all. Let’s go out and experiment with them once we get our cards. I’ve placed my order.
Melani says
June 6, 2013 at 8:28 amI thought you might like the cards, Chloe! Absolutely, we’re on it.
Val says
June 9, 2013 at 4:14 amThanks for the tip, cheek’d sounds like a clever idea. I’ll be sure to try it out.
Melani says
June 9, 2013 at 8:00 pmGlad you like it, Val.