The other day I got a text from a friend:
“Just went to the blog. Are you taking a break from writing?”
Fair question and I rationally replied:
“WHO are YOU, the literary police?”
I know it’s been a loooooooong time since I’ve written and I would love to tell you it’s because
Ran into Tarzan at Sundance.
I’m having a crazy, lust filled romance with an age appropriate version of Alexander Skarsgård.
Sadly that’s not the case.
I’ve been struggling to come up with something to write. Although I don’t have writer’s block, per se, my love life hasn’t given me much material to work with. It’s quite yawn inducing even to me—can’t imagine how boring it would be to everyone else.
I had a date with a nice enough guy. He showed up thirty minutes late after multiple text apologies as he made his way to the bar. I find tardiness off-putting and on a first date, it’s downright rude. Although apologetic, his words had a practiced feel to them and I’m not down with someone who’s decided that his time is more important than mine. I also quickly learned that although separated he was not yet divorced. Ugh. We had a drink and I was ready to end our evening. There was definitely not going to be a second date and I offered to split the bill. I had two margaritas, guacamole and chips. He had a few chips but told me he wasn’t a fan of guac.
WHAT???
His aversion to a significant part of my favorite cuisine—Mexican–was reason enough to hand him walking papers. I mean really, who doesn’t like guacamole? I’ll tell you: A person with a serious character flaw OR a picky eater–which is even worse. OK, perhaps I’m a little sensitive with the current political climate, because I wanted to ask, “Does your disdain begin and end with fare? How do you feel about walls?” Probably a silly question because I’ve amended my profile to state, “If you’re voting for Trump, we would definitely not be compatible.”
My date also looked at the bill and commented on the TWO margaritas I had consumed. He had only been there for one. What I could’ve said was, “Call the police. I’m a middle aged white chick and don’t fear law enforcement.” Of course that would’ve been silly because he was a cop. I reminded him that I had been waiting a half an hour for his arrival and wasn’t going to be sipping water. He agreed to split the bill, btw. Not quite what I expected and if I had arrived late, I promise I would’ve insisted on paying the entire tab. Then I got up from the bar and realized I was taller by at least two inches. I know, who cares, right? That night, I did.
I had another date recently with a Brit who’s visiting NYC for the summer. When I arrived at the bar, he was sipping water. I ordered a glass of Rosé and he ordered a Coke. No big deal if he’s a teetotaler, but then he proceeded to tell me about a bar he frequents each time he visits. The establishment offers free refills. He told me about how he’ll sit for hours, using the free wifi and watching TV, while sipping on one Coke that is refilled without charge. Lots of “free” in his vocabulary and as my grandmother would to say, “That Cheap Charlie has the first
nickel he’s ever made.” I realized I was absolutely paying for my glass of wine and decided to order dinner. I made sure to tell him we would have separate checks. He didn’t order food but I shared my steak because I hate to eat alone and his frugality had to be on high alert after Brexit. There’s nothing that gives the thrifty greater anxiety than the threat of truly being broke instead of just living every second of their life that way. Do I even need to tell you there would not be a second date? Didn’t think so.
BUT, I did have an awesome date a few nights ago. The man is a widower. We’re definitely going out again. I have no urge to write about it.
Hmm, wonder what that might mean?
That’s about all that’s happening in my world. I hope you’re having a fabulous summer filled with adventures.
If you aren’t following my Facebook page, I would be over the moon if you could click HERE and show me some love.
“Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.” Oscar Wilde
Had a date Sunday ..she showed up , I said to myself I know her! Turns out she was a hot bartender 35 yrs ago. She was 2 yrs older so back then didn’t give me the time of day…
Let her go about a half hour til I told her….. Well she was the one asking for a second date. , I will she’s still cool. How things change.
That’s a great story, Tommy. Good for you having a blast from the past. I hope it works out! Thanks for taking the time to write, Tommy.
I got nothing for you either. I met a guy last year-had flutters when he walked into the restaurant and over a year later I still get flutters when I see him. Oh and I met him online so it can happen. He is sweet, polite, employed(!) gentle and very loving. He listens to me laugh and holds me when I cry. My mom likes him as do all of my friends. First guy since divorce that was worthy of meeting my posse. And in big news my daughter finally put down her fears and met him. Hurdle jumped! We are just back from a long week together helping to take care of his aging parents. I’ve met two of his three brothers and his momma did good.
So yes it can happen! If I can find a wonderful fellow like my guy; your Prince Charming is out there. Keep kissing the toads until then. Best of luck……..
Thank you for the update, Cindy. I’m happy to hear your daughter has come around. I will keep kissing the toads–or at least shaking their hands after I’ve paid for my own food and drink. Thanks for sharing your story. Good for you!
Hi Melani,
I have been reading your blog for awhile now and always have a good laugh and totally can relate to all your dating stories. I myself had been on all the different dating sites, getting set up by friends etc no luck- my sister kept saying you could write a book these stories are unbelievable – no kidding ! I just got married for the first time at 51 years old this past weekend to a great man who had been a casual acquaintance for a few years and one night he asked me out and boom that was it – inseparable from then on. So he is out there! I know you have not lost hope but maybe this inspires someone! Anyway I will definitely keep up with you and will always be wishing you the best of luck!
Take care,
Karen
Congratulations, Karen! What a beautiful story with a truly happy ending. Yes, he’s out there and I imagine your story will be an inspiration to many still searching. Thank you for sharing, Karen, and thank you for reading the blog!
Another entertaining blog post, Melani. Good for our sakes. Not so good for you. It’s gotta happen soon! Lord knows you’re way past due. Hope the widower’s the one. xoxo
Thank you, Leslie! Ha, yes, it is about time. Sheesh, what’s a woman to do? Thanks for the encouraging words, Leslie, and for taking the time to write. xoxo.
Still completely enjoying your blog, Melani! I’m always delighted when I see an email from you alerting me to a new post.
Good idea to amend your profile to discourage Trump voters. I’m sure the resulting story after the date would be entertaining, but at what cost to you?
Good luck with the new guy.
Thank you, Cheryl! So good to hear the notification delights you. Yes, gotta keep those Trump supporters out of my life. I don’t know one person who’s voting for him. I’m not kidding. I think it’s going to be a blowout and he’ll be goose-stepping his xenophobic butt back to Trump Tower to lick his wounds. Sure hope so. Thanks for the comment, Cheryl. Made me smile.
Love this, Melani! Thanks for a reassuring blog that Atlanta is not the only place where weird seeps out pretty quickly. I did go home to Boston a couple of weeks ago. For the first time evaah, I turned my Tinder on. Wow! What a refreshing experience. Matched with so many cute guys. Even when I told them I was home for the weekend, and visit often, so many wanted to take me to dinner. They were kind and did not sit there in my “Matched” pile waiting for me. They reached out! Very Bizarro Atlanta. I did go on two dates when I was home. Great guys! Helped me get my feet wet after a heart wrenching break up. I came back to Atlanta and started dating again, although I am unimpressed with the manpool here. I did have a fun date Saturday night. He was normal, thank God! I am writing a book about surviving the breakup. Waiting to finish. Can’t write it all until I am completely indifferent and healed. Talk soon! Come see me in ATL!
I’m actually in Boston right now, Steph. Lots of good (and tall) men on the dating sites. NYC, be damned–kidding. I am so sorry to hear you’ve gone through a rough breakup. So painful but it sounds like you’re making the most of a horrible situation. I can’t wait to read the book. Yes, I’ll come see you in Atlanta and you come visit me in NY. Seriously. Big, big hugs, Steph.
Brilliant you’re back Melani!
Mean with money always seems to equate to mean spirited – look at the Donald -all the stories of women dating him and having to pay for the meals.
Good luck with the Widower.
Steve
I agree, Stephen. Stingy with money generally means stingy with everything–love, affection, kindness, etc.. Thanks for the comment and don’t get me started with DT. Ugh.
So nice hearing from you again, Melani! Best wishes with the widower and please keep us up-to-date..
Thank you, Tim. I will absolutely keep everyone up to date!
Hi Melani. I went online (at 52) at the same time you were writing your one year of online dating blog and I must say it provided some much-needed levity for me. I even used it in my profile as “what I’m currently reading”. Anyway, I unexpectedly met an amazing guy online and it’s been an unbelievable 2-1/2 years…so I hope you can hang there until you meet the one . And I know everyone has a different opinion on this – I’m legally separated and not yet divorced but I’ve always considered myself single (to me it’s just a formality and I don’t have any current plans to remarry) so I’m glad the guys I met didn’t consider it an issue. All the best and look forward to more interesting and witty stories…
Wow, thank you, Jill, for adding the blog to your reading list. That made me smile. I will absolutely hang in there and so appreciate your words of encouragement as well as your success story. It only takes one man who’s not perfect but perfect for me, right? I will keep the stories coming, Jill, and thank you so much for following along.
love your blog! Girls in the office were recently trying to get me to start up a blog because I’ve shared some funny stories. However, the longer I’ve lasted with the on-line dating scene the less funny it’s become because I finally figured out how to meet a better quality guy. Happily dating now for 10 months a hunk of a guy and real stand up. Not my usual long lasting type, but there you go. I tried to go on Tinder again once but got busted so can’t even fish for fun anymore.
enjoy !
Thanks, Hannah! I’m happy to hear you’re enjoying the blog but even better–you’ve met a good guy. No need for Tinder surfing, anyway. Thanks for taking the time to write. I appreciate it.
Just catching up on your blog. Of course it made me chuckle that there are still guys out there who don’t get that we hate cheap men. The last BF I had, I met through our big line-dancing group….lots of couples, some singles….it’s an older crowd, people don’t buy drinks for one another as we’re just there for the dancing and that’s fine. So when he offered to buy me a drink, I told him thanks but I was on my way to the bar to buy one for myself and my girlfriend. No problem — he offered to buy us BOTH a drink! Now THAT impressed me! After we started dating, I knew I made a lot more money than he, and I couldn’t stand his cheapness in things like not having cable (rabbit ears!) and buying Dollar Store toilet tissue, but he never complained about picking up the tab for dinner or drinks even though I knew my tastes were a bit pricey. And of course I reciprocated occasionally, but he never expected it of me. Anyway, keep the blogs coming, they are always entertaining and I live vicariously through your adventures!
Thanks for sharing, Nancy. Actually that guy you dated seems like a decent person. Maybe he was frugal because he truly couldn’t afford cable or he found a way to save money at the Dollar Store? And he always picked up the tab–even though he probably knew you earned more, too. Are you still dating? Thanks for the comment, Nancy. I’ll be moving to more podcasts and less blog posts in the future but I think you’ll enjoy them.